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Medical Jokes (Teacher: Michael)
There was this guy in
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hospital that was scheduled for surgery. On
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morning of his operation he starts yelling that he wants coffee.
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nurse comes in and asks him to be quiet, as he is disturbing
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other patients.
"But I've had coffee every morning for forty years and I want
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cup of coffee NOW!" he screamed.
The nurse quickly and silently counts to ten and replies, "Now sir, you realize that you are due to go into surgery in
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hour and you can't have anything on your stomach. Couldn't you do without coffee just this once?"
The guy starts to rant even more and
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doctor comes in to see what is
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matter with
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patient.
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nurse explains
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situation to him and
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doctor turns to
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belligerent man in bed before him, "You understand that you can't have anything in your stomach before surgery, don't you?"
"I don't care. I. Want. Some. Coffee!!!!"
The doctor thinks for
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minute and says, "Very well. I'll tell you what;
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only way we can give you any coffee is through
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enema. Would that make you happy?"
The guy pauses and replies, "Well, if that's
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only way I can get any coffee around here..."
So
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doctor tells
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nurse to give
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guy
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coffee enema to keep him quiet.
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nurse returns with
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enema bag and
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fresh pot of hot coffee.
She pours it into
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bag, greases up
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applicator and sticks it up
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guy's ass. "Ah, hot coffee!"
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guy says with
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satisfied tone.
All of
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sudden he starts into bitching and complaining again. "What's
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matter this time?!"
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exasperated nurse yells out. "It's too sweet!"
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guy replies.
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