www.englishmed.com - Home
 Search
 Log In
Login or Signup

Forgot your password?
 Top 10 Exercises
 Collocations157221
 Multiple-Choice Quest..131912
 Doctor and patient vo..125904
 Collocations115021
 Look at the following..102426
 Look at the following..98455
 Words and Expressions..77828
 Diarrhoea77704
 Arrange the following..75471
 Collocations and Expr..65956
Start > Resource centre > Articles > Medical Jokes

A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I would like to live very long. What should I do?"
"I think that is a wise decision," the doctor replies. "Let's see, do you smoke?"
"Oh.. Half a pack a day."
"Starting NOW, no more smoking."
The man agrees.
The doctor then asks, "Do you drink?"
"Oh, well Doc, not much, just a bit of wine with my meals, and a beer or two every once in a while."
"Starting now, you drink only water. No exceptions."
The man is a bit upset, but also agrees.
The doctor asks, "How do you eat?"
"Oh, well, you know, Doc, normal stuff."
"Starting now you are going on a very strict diet: you are going to eat only raw vegetables, with no dressing, and non-fat cottage cheese."
The man is now really worried.
"Doc, is all this really necessary?"
"Do you want to live long?"
"Yes."
"Absolutely necessary. And don't even think of breaking the diet.
"The man is quite restless, but the doctor continues,
"Do you have sex?"
"Yeah, once a week or so..., only with my wife!" he adds hurriedly.
"As soon as you get out of here you are going to buy twin beds. No more sex for you.
None." The man is appalled. "Doc... Are you sure I'm going to live longer this way?"
"I have no idea, but whatever you live, I assure you is going to seem like an eternity!"

Teacher: Michael
Many articles taken from 'A word with the doctor', by Dr. John Windsor.


Exercises on this article:
Recreate this article
Reconstruct this article Irregular verbs
Articles (a, an, the) Determiners Replace missing verbs
Medical English

 Latest articles
Sprains
Dialogue - Sprained Angle
The dreaded mosquito Part 1
The dreaded mosquito Part 2
The dreaded mosquito Part 3
St James Hospital Eye Centre: A new conc..
St James Hospital Eye Centre: A new conc..
St James Hospital Eye Centre: A new conc..
St James Hospital Eye Centre: A new conc..
St James Hospital Eye Centre: A new conc..
St James Hospital Eye Centre: A new conc..
Losing Weight the lipase way Part 1