www.englishmed.com - Home
 Search
 Top 10 Exercises
 Collocations311708
 Multiple-Choice Quest..223048
 Doctor and patient vo..212001
 Collocations197954
 Look at the following..178822
 Look at the following..171742
 Diarrhoea113047
 Arrange the following..108342
 Words and Expressions..106805
 Collocations and Expr..91884
Start > Doctors > Speaking > Articles > Medical Jokes

There was this guy in the hospital that was scheduled for surgery. On the morning of his operation he starts yelling that he wants coffee. The nurse comes in and asks him to be quiet, as he is disturbing the other patients.
"But I've had coffee every morning for forty years and I want a cup of coffee NOW!" he screamed.

The nurse quickly and silently counts to ten and replies, "Now sir, you realize that you are due to go into surgery in an hour and you can't have anything on your stomach. Couldn't you do without coffee just this once?"

The guy starts to rant even more and the doctor comes in to see what is the matter with the patient. The nurse explains the situation to him and the doctor turns to the belligerent man in bed before him, "You understand that you can't have anything in your stomach before surgery, don't you?"

"I don't care. I. Want. Some. Coffee!!!!"
The doctor thinks for a minute and says, "Very well. I'll tell you what; the only way we can give you any coffee is through an enema. Would that make you happy?"
The guy pauses and replies, "Well, if that's the only way I can get any coffee around here..."

So the doctor tells the nurse to give the guy a coffee enema to keep him quiet. The nurse returns with an enema bag and a fresh pot of hot coffee.
She pours it into the bag, greases up the applicator and sticks it up the guy's ass. "Ah, hot coffee!" the guy says with a satisfied tone.
All of a sudden he starts into bitching and complaining again. "What's the matter this time?!" the exasperated nurse yells out. "It's too sweet!" the guy replies.

Teacher: Michael
Many articles taken from 'A word with the doctor', by Dr. John Windsor.


Exercises on this article:
Recreate this article
Reconstruct this article Irregular verbs
Articles (a, an, the) Determiners Replace missing verbs
Medical English

 Latest articles for doctors
Dialogue - Sprained Angle
The dreaded mosquito Part 1
The dreaded mosquito Part 2
The dreaded mosquito Part 3
St James Hospital Eye Centre: A new conc..
St James Hospital Eye Centre: A new conc..
St James Hospital Eye Centre: A new conc..
St James Hospital Eye Centre: A new conc..
St James Hospital Eye Centre: A new conc..
St James Hospital Eye Centre: A new conc..
Losing Weight the lipase way Part 1
Varicose veins Part 2

Wenn Du mehr erfahren moechest ueber die Medizin Englisch Kurse oder ueber sprachreisen Malta im Allgemeinen, dann besuche unsere Ursprungs Homepage.

Если вы хотите узнать больше о Медицинских курсах английского или Английский на Мальте в общем, пожалуйста посетите нашу партнёрскую компанию.